Kyoushitsu no Ouji-sama
by KagamineKagami
Summary: <html><head></head>Your favourite PoT characters as teachers. Rated K-plus for safety.</html>
1. Echizen Ryoma

**The amazing Kurayami-9 suggested I write more of the PoT characters as teachers, so here it is. Hopefully this will be fairly long, with many chapters. I'll do Seigaku first, because I know them better. **

**Verb Murder: Because this happens. Ryoma's a Japanese teacher in America. I only used kanji I know, gomen. -Rin**

Verb Murder

Echizen Ryoma-sensei stood at the dry-erase board in the front of the classroom with a purple marker in his hand. He turned his back to the class and wrote an example sentence.

"へやに何がありますか。" He asked, turning back to face his students. What's in the room? A boy in the back raised his hand.

"へやにいすがいます。" There is a chair in the room.

"Wrong verb, Mark-san. Arimasu is used for nonliving things. Imasu is for living things. A chair is not alive." Echizen-sensei corrected him. "Try the next question. このきょうしつにだれがいますか。" Who is in this classroom?

"Uhhh...きょうしつにAshleyさんがあります。" Ashley is in the classroom. Mark didn't even try to pronounce her name in Japanese. Ashley gasped theatrically.

"Sensei, he's killing me with verbs!" She pointed accusingly at Mark. Echizen-sensei sighed.

"No, you still have the verbs mixed up. Ashley is alive, so you use imasu. Say it with me, class." Everyone grinned and turned to face Mark.

"Mada mada da ne."


	2. Inui Sadaharu

**I doubt this would be legal in any country, but I thought it was amusing. -Rin**

Seventy Percent

Inui Sadaharu-sensei was handing back graded tests. All the students in his AP Statistics class were nervously awaiting their results. Every time a passing grade was given, the recipient signed with relief and slumped in their seat, their traumatizing ordeal over.

When a failing grade was received, the student looked terrified, and slid down in their seat as if they could prolong the inevitable by "hiding".

After all the papers had been handed out, Inui-sensei returned to the front of the room.

"All those who failed, line up in front of my desk." And he bent down to get something from the mini-fridge beneath the desk.

Those assembled quivered in fear as their teacher brought out a large jug of something orange-y and began pouring it in cups. Inui-sensei held out a cup to the first in line, who took it with slightly shaking hands. Someone near the door opened it as the poor student brought the cup to his lips and tipped it back, drinking it all at once.

He dropped the empty plastic cup and ran for the door.

"Don't forget the bathroom pass." Inui-sensei spoke without looking up from pouring the next cup.

~Omake~

Fuji Shusuke-sensei passed a student sprinting to the bathroom on his way to collect some papers. As another ran from the room he was headed to, he smiled to himself.

"Are you serving Inui Juice? May I have some?" Inui-sensei sighed and handed him a cup. He'd learned to indulge his eccentric colleague. Fuji-sensei drank the whole thing in one gulp and licked his lips.

"Delicious." And he left with his papers, leaving a whole classroom of students with their mouths hanging open.


	3. Momoshiro Takeshi

**I think I might do several on Momo thought this whole thing, with different sports. I apologize if I got any of the tennis details wrong. I don't actually play tennis.** -Rin

Last Bell

Momoshiro Takeshi-sensei taught PE. And in seventh period, there wasn't too much enthusiasm for physical activity. The students just wanted to go home as soon as possible, and who could blame them? But Momo-chan, as he'd told the class to call him, had to teach them whether they liked it or not. He tried to make it fun.

Today was the start of the tennis unit. The students had each been given a school racket to use; Momo-chan brought his own.

"Yosh! Today we're starting tennis. I'll show you the basics, and then you can practice in groups of two or four." He swung the racket around, demonstrating the correct form for forehand, backhand, and a few other shots before letting them go.

Momo-chan walked around the courts, supervising and correcting form. They weren't terrible, he decided. Maybe he could convince that one kid on court 3 to join the tennis club.

Meanwhile, Kaido Kaoru-sensei was using his free period to catch up on paperwork. But he needed to collect some eligibility forms from the athletic department. Which meant he'd have to go see that idiot Momoshiro. With a sigh he got up from his desk and headed for the tennis courts.

Momo-chan was imparting some tennis wisdom to a second-year when Kaido-sensei arrived. He waited until they were finished before asking about the papers.

"Do you have the eligibility forms?" Momo turned around.

"Mamushi! Can't you say hello before asking me to give you stuff? You should set a better example for the kids." Kaido-sensei hissed quietly. He didn't want to argue in front of the students, but...

"I thought I told you not to call me that at school."

"What, Mamushi? But that's your name." Kaido took a deep breath before responding.

"No, it isn't. Now, can I have the forms?" Momo crossed his arms.

"Can't you see I'm busy teaching tennis?" Kaido raised an eyebrow at the word 'teaching'. Was that what he was calling this? It wasn't how Kaido would have taught them. Momo caught the look Kaido had given him.

"Hey, at least people don't fall asleep in my class!"

"I'm surprised you don't sleep through your own classes! You did often enough in junior high. Did you even show them how a match is played?"

"Of course I did, and I showed them how to win! It's not like you'd know." By now everyone had stopped to stare at them, but Kaido didn't care.

"Do I need to beat you to prove it to you, you idiot?" Momo laughed.

"If you think you can!"

Kaido grabbed a school racket and they made their way to court 2, which immediately cleared off. No one wanted to get in the way.

The battle begun with Momo's serve...

And lasted about half an hour before the bell rang. Neither of the teachers heard it. The students had gathered around to watch, and one in the back raised a hand. When it became apparent that no one was going to call on him he put it down and asked his question.

"Momo-chan-sensei, school's over now. Can we go home?"

Momo-chan-sensei ignored the question, if he even heard it. All his attention was on the tennis match. The students began to leave in small groups, ready to go home.

After fifteen minutes, the head of the foreign language department, German teacher Tezuka Kunimitsu, came looking for Kaido. He strode out onto the courts and stood by the net with his arms crossed. The two teachers stopped immediately, the ball hitting the fence behind Kaido and falling to the ground.

"Buchou, I came to get the forms for-" Tezuka cut Kaido off.

"Thirty laps around the school."

The few students who hadn't gone home yet watched in awe as their teachers started running, and Tezuka-sensei headed back inside. They would tell all their friends over the next few days, and everyone would resolve not to make the German teacher angry.

~Omake~

As they completed their laps, Momo leaned closer to Kaido. "You missed that last shot. I won."

Then he ran.


	4. Kikumaru Eiji

**Theatre games are fun. I suggest you gather a group of friends and play a few, if you never have. -Rin**

Bonk!

Kikumaru Eiji-sensei and his theatre class were playing Bonk. What, you ask, is Bonk? Bonk is a game in which everyone chooses an animal to represent themselves and sits in a circle. One person will stand in the middle of said circle with a roll of paper towels. When the name of an animal is yelled out, 'it' tries to hit the person who chose that animal. That person must say the name of another animal before they get hit, or they're it.

Kikumaru-sensei always participated when the class played games. His chosen animal was a cat. Right now, the girl who'd chosen dog was it. She stood in the middle of the circle.

"Who wants to start?" A boy off to the left waved his hand in the air.

"Pig!" And the game began. 'Dog' ran for 'Pig', who yelled "Unicorn!"

'Unicorn' pointed at a boy across the circle from her and shouted "Cthulhu!"

And so it went, from Cthulhu to rat to fish to dragon. 'Dragon' couldn't think of anything in time, and was hit in the head with the paper towel roll. They began another round, with 'Dragon' in the middle.

"Cow!"

"Dolphin!"

"Turtle!"

This continued for half an hour. Towards the end of class, the door opened (although few noticed in the chaos of the game) and Oishi Shuichiro-sensei walked in.

A student near the door pointed to him and said "Oishi-sensei!"

"Eiji, do you have a stapler I could bor-" He was cut off by Eiji hitting him in the face with the paper towel roll.

"You're it, Oishi!"

**(We actually had a Cthulhu in my class when I was in theatre several years ago. -Rin)**


	5. Fuji Shusuke

**I know Fuji already sort of had his turn in Plato's Cave, but I felt like I should include him here. -Rin**

Knowledge

"Acquire knowledge, because he who acquires it, in the way of the Lord, performs an act of piety; who speaks of it praises the Lord; who seeks it, adores God, who dispenses instruction in it, bestows alms; and who imparts it to its fitting objects, performs an act of devotion to God." Fuji Shusuke-sensei read to his class.

"Let's dissect this quote from the prophet Mohammed. You all, in this classroom right now, are those who acquire knowledge. I'm the one who dispenses instruction. This quote tells us that learning is a religious act. Islam gives you a new way to think about school."

The class buzzed with this new information. When they'd quieted down, Fuji-sensei continued.

"So, with that in mind, I expect all of you to work hard at acquiring knowledge in completing the worksheet I passed out earlier."

He grinned, heading back to sit behind his desk and grade tests.

"Have fun."

**Sorry this one's so short. Since I'm halfway done (ish) with Seigaku, if there's a specific school you want to see next, let me know by reviewing, and I'll make it happen. -Rin**


	6. Tezuka Kunimitsu

**All the German here is stuff Len learned with the Duolingo app and told me. I know nothing about German. -Rin**

German Wisdom

On the first day of school, the students in Tezuka Kunimitsu-sensei's German class were greeted at the door in German by their new teacher, and given an assigned seat. On the whiteboard in the front of the room was written "Deutsche Sprache, schwere Sprache."

When the bell rang, Tezuka-sensei closed the door and stood in front of the board.

"German is hard." He pointed to the sentence on the board. "This is one of the first things you will learn. I expect you to do all of your homework to the best of your ability. I do not accept late work past two days, unless you were absent. Remember the saying 'Morgen, Morgen, nur nicht heute, sagen alle faulen Leute.'" He advised.

"Tomorrow, tomorrow, but not today, all lazy people say. Don't be the lazy people who put off doing homework. Now, I want you all to write your names on the cards at your desks so I can learn them."

He walked around the classroom, beginning to memorize the names his students were writing. He stopped when he reached the table in the back corner.

"Why does your name tag say 'The Omnipotent Noodle-sama?'" Tezuka-sensei looked down at the boy in the desk, who grinned.

"It's what people call me." Tezuka-sensei sighed.

"It is not your name. Write your real name."

"How d'you know it isn't my real name? What if my parents are Pastafarians?" The poor underpaid reached crossed his arms.

"Zehn Runden."

"Sorry, what?"

"Ten laps. Around the school." The boy's grin vanished.

"You can't do that!"

"I can, and I am. Now start running."

**A friend once called me The Omnipotent Noodle-sama, for those who were wondering where that came from. You can still vote for the school you want to see next. So far, I have one vote for Rikkai and two for Hyoutei. -Rin**


	7. Oishi Shuichiro

**I went to a corn maze today, and it took a while to get there and back, so I had time to write this and the next chapter of A Life in Boxes. It was really fun. I won't bore you with the details, but I had a few ideas for future fics while I was there, so that should be fun. -Rin**

Only a Trick

Oishi Shuichiro was the school nurse. One of them, anyway. There were two, and they rotated between teaching a medical science class and working in the clinic every week. It was Oishi's week in the clinic.

He was sitting down, resting, during a lull in the flow of sick students. To tell the truth, there were pretty frequent breaks in the weeks spent in the clinic. Teachers could take care of little things like paper cuts by themselves, so only the truly ill came to the clinic.

The clinic phone rang. Oishi put down his cup of coffee.

"Hello, this is the clinic, how can I-" A frantic-sounding student cut him off.

"Oishi-sensei! You have to come help, I think Kikumaru-sensei's dying!" Oishi nearly dropped the phone.

"I'm on my way." He hung up and sprinted through the hallways, glad they were empty. When he reached Eiji's classroom, he flung the door open, not noticing or caring that it hit the wall and left a tiny dent.

Eiji was lying on the floor in the middle of the room, with a knife in his chest.

Oishi dropped his things and dropped to his knees by his friend, checking him for signs of life.

"Eiji?" He leaned over to examine the wound. He thought it looked a bit odd...

A pair of arms were suddenly flung around his neck.

"Gotcha!" Eiji was laughing, hugging him. Oishi just stared blankly for a moment, trying to comprehend what had just happened. Then he realized: stage makeup.

Eiji released him, leaving pink, red, and brown smudges on Oishi's white coat from the makeup on his chest. Eiji's students were giggling.

"Eiji, you can't just do something like that. Do you have any idea how worried I was?" Eiji frowned, and Oishi continued.

"And what if someone really does need my help while I'm here with you? The clinic is empty, and I didn't leave a note. That was very irresponsible of you. You need to set a better example for your students." Eiji looked upset.

"I'm sorry, Oishi, I didn't mean to make you so worried. I didn't think about what would happen if you left the clinic. We were learning about stage makeup, and I was doing demonstrations." Upon closer inspection, Oishi noticed some of the students had makeup on their faces.

"And I thought it would funny. I'm sorry." He looked down at the floor. Oishi sighed and shook his head, but he was smiling.

"It's alright, there probably aren't any students waiting for me at the clinic. But next time there could be. Please don't do this again, okay?" Eiji nodded.

"But I'm glad I could help with your demonstration." Eiji grinned.

"Kazuo did the makeup. We had an uneven number since Kimiko isn't here, so when we spilt up into partners for practice, I was his. Didn't he do a good job?" Oishi nodded, smiling at Kazuo, who looked very proud of himself.

"Maybe you could help our medical science class sometime, Kazuo-kun. You could do the makeup for the students pretending to be injured. Would you be willing to do that?" Kazuo nodded eagerly and Eiji looked proud.

"You can come during study hall next week, if you like. Come see me for a pass later."

**Almost done with Seigaku! Keep telling me which school should be next. So far I have three votes for Rikkai and two for Hyoutei. -Rin**


	8. Kawamura Takashi

**Poor Fuji, he only gets a birthday once every four years. -Rin**

Leap Day

Kawamura Takashi-sensei had prepared all the workstations in advance, and was waiting for his class to arrive. It was February 29th, and Kawamura-sensei wanted to do something special for his coworker (and boyfriend)'s birthday.

He stood in the front of the room and waited. When all the students were in their seats and the bell had rung, he clapped his hands together, sending a cloud of flour into the air.

"Okay, guys. Today is Fuji-sensei's birthday, so we're gonna make birthday cakes. Everybody pick a partner and find a workstation. The recipes are on the tables. I can't wait to see what you come up with!"

The class rose almost as one and all began chattering, finding partners and empty workstations. There were a few recipes to choose from on the tables, and Kawamura-sensei always encouraged his students to add their own individual twist to the food they prepared.

They all got to work, and Kawamura-sensei walked around to check on their progress, giving advice and praise. They had to be quick, since the cakes had to bake before being frosted and decorated. There were a variety of sprinkles and the like set out for the students to use.

Soon enough there were ovens dinging and cakes being iced in a rainbow of colors. Sprinkles were applied heavily to the cakes, the tables, and the floor.

The finished cakes were hurriedly placed on the table in the front of the room, and the workstations cleaned up. The bell rang, and everyone left, most calling out a goodbye to their teacher. Kawamura-sensei waved and told them all to have a good day.

He surveyed the assortment of cakes before him and smiled. Shusuke was going to love these. He'd grade each cake on appearance and presentation, and he would ask Shusuke to help grade them on taste.

Kawamura-sensei added the final touches to the table: some festive ribbon and a little sign that read "HAPPY BIRTHDAY". Now all he had to do was show Shusuke. He didn't have a class that period, and he knew his boyfriend didn't either, so he went straight to the history teacher's classroom to get him.

"Fujiko, are you busy?" The tensai teacher smiled and put down his papers.

"I'm never too busy for you, Taka. What is it?"

"We-my class and I-made you something. Well, somethings. More than one. Will you come see?"

"Of course." He stood and followed the taller teacher back to the culinary arts classroom. When they reached the door to the room, Taka covered his boyfriend's eyes and led him to stand in front of the table.

"Ready?" He waited a moment before removing his hands. "Surprise!"

Shusuke opened his eyes to see a table of brightly-colored cakes, all of them bearing birthday wishes for him, the nearest one covered in red icing that spelled out "Happy birthday, Fuji-sensei!"

"Taka, this is wonderful. Thank you. And thank your students for me." The tensai stood on his toes and gave his boyfriend a peck on the cheek.

"I don't know which to try first. I think you'll have to help me eat all these." Taka smiled and procured two sets of silverware and a stack of paper plates.

"I was hoping you'd say that." He admitted sheepishly. He pulled two chairs up to the table and pulled Shusuke's out for him before sitting down himself, setting the pile of grade sheets on the table in front of him.

They sat and ate cake all through their free period, with Shusuke occasionally putting a dollop of icing on Taka's nose, and birthday kisses here and there, until they had sampled every cake. It was a very good birthday, with lots of leftovers.

**There's only one Seigaku chapter left! So far it looks like Rikkai will be the next school, with four votes. Next is Hyoutei with two, and Fudomine with one. Keep voting if you want to change that! -Rin**


End file.
